Amongst the confusion inside my head
are fleeting moments of sanity and clarity.
Convincing myself and others with
my ever changing plans, theories and revelations.

Trying to open my heart while struggling to
decipher between insincerity and true compliments;
who to trust and who to fear.
Craving focus and stability but
finding complete and utter chaos around every corner.

Fearing I have gotten on the never ending rollercoaster,
only to find there is no seatbelt.
Laughing, crying, screaming, obsessing, demanding, creating,
reaching, dreaming, interpreting, misinterpreting and letting go
all in the same breath.

Watching, waiting and wondering how long I will be drowning
in Saturn Return.

~* DooZje *~