Go away please
You’re just a little voice
Inside my head
Making a lot of noise
Making me doubt
The decisions I made
To stop these things
This voice has to fade
It’s my control
Telling me what to do
Have to listen to this voice
Driving my mind in two
Have no choice but to listen
It’s still so strong
Try to resist
Because I know it is wrong
But when I don’t listen
And do things it doesn’t want me to
It makes me punish myself
Because I did things I shouldn’t do
I see this voice as two things
A burden and a blessing
And which one I think it is
Depends on the state of mind I’m in
Whenever I feel good, and happy with myself
This voice is a burden, and hard to put aside
I try things to make the voice go away
But it doesn’t, it stays inside
I see no way to make it leave
Because I love this voice when I feel weak
Then it’s just the thing I need
To find the control I seek
The voice, in my mind, it is a mystery
How it came in, and what is it doing to me
I didn’t ask for it, and still it came
And why I do not see
I was happy the way before
In peace with who I was
So why is this voice telling me
That’s just not enough, because
And I just can’t stop it
Afraid of what I’ll have to do
In case I don’t listen to this voice
It is scaring me too
Although somewhere in my mind
I’m happy with this voice
It’s making me perfect, which now I am not
And doing this is my choice
So actually this voice is good
And helping me to be happy again
But why then does it feel
It was all better back then?
This is all so confusing
Doesn’t understand the way my mind is working
Really annoying, and I am helpless
I can’t do a thing
I want to listen to this voice
Although it is wrong, I know that too
But I’m also afraid of that noise
For all the things it makes me do
~"Ik heb toch besloten om verder te gaan met posten hier. Mijn stemming is nogal veranderlijk de laatste tijd, ik weet niet meer wat ik nou precies wil. En dat dan iemand mij hier kent, tja, ik hoop eigenlijk dat diegene dit niet leest, maar dat kan ik niet voorkomen natuurlijk, en om dat nou de reden te laten zijn om niet meer te posten.."~