How come
I feel this way?
How come
I don’t want to stay?
How come
This feeling grows stronger inside of me?
How come
I no longer want to be?
I don’t get it, I really don’t
I’m surrounded by wonderful people on which I can built
All I have to do is turn to them
But I can’t, because I feel so much guilt
No matter what they say or what they do
I’m still trapped inside myself
Don’t want to let them see
Still hiding inside my shelf
But if I do this they will never see
What I truly feel inside
Although they keep asking me this
I’ll keep telling them I’m alright
But this is far from the truth
Inside I feel so confused, lost and afraid
Going insane by my mood swings
Every other minute, it all does not fade
I don’t know what to do
Scared of so many things, I try to hide
Behind my mask of happiness and lies
Through this way I’ll still have my pride
I’m really lost at the moment
Confused, and I don’t want to go on
Have had it with this life
It’s so difficult, and it has been too long
Everyday I live one big lie
My parent don’t see it, that’s my luck
But it is taking so much energy of me
One day I will be stuck
Stuck inside my own web of lies
They will figure out the truth, one day
Then I will die, can’t deal with that
And there is no need for me to stay
When my mask is no longer needed
When my truth, they all know
They will understand that I’m hopeless
No reason for me not to go
So much has changed in the last couple of months
Why, that reason I’m trying to find
Just wish all could be better right now
But I can’t just let it all behind
Trapped in all my feelings
Lost in all my lies
Avoiding all confrontation
Never look them in the eyes
Pulling back from everything
Trying to find a way of my own
But where I am going?
That is, and will be, unknown