»Ana, make me beautiful..«
Do you know
what it's like
to have one thing
on your mind,
and never have it leave
no matter how
hard you try?
You know,
I can’t remember the last time
I ate something,
without feeling helpless,
hideous, failed,
dirty and unbeautiful..
It's not a choice,
it's never been a choice
It's not merely an envy
of the models in magazines
Or a contest among peers
I could be
the last person on earth,
with no one to jugde me,
but myself
And I would
still feel this way
I need people to stop
telling me that I am skinny,
that they love me how I am,
or that I need help
Nobody can help me
as I suffer alone
Who can help?
You can send me
to a ward,
stick a needle
in my arm,
stuff me silly,
drive me batty,
feed me fatty
through a tube
You can cure the whole outside,
but the inside
doesn't change
Don't you see?
These people are beautiful to me
On the outside
they are frail,
but on the inside
they are strong
"Ana, make me beautiful"; they whisper
Help me through this day
Not so that I can be thin,
but so that I can be pure
On the outside
I am smiling,
but on the inside,
I am dying
I need you to tell me,
tell me lies so beautiful...
Take me and break me
Make me strong,
like you
I dream of walking
between the raindrops.
Don't tell me
I can't
Because all I ever wanted,
all I realy ever wanted,
was to be happy,
and with Ana, I am…
©Kirr, 22-02-07, 20:25