~Why can’t I change?~
Please save me from myself
Doesn’t someone see I want to scream for help
Though no one will hear me
So I don’t
Try to fight another time
Till I will fall
And never get up again.
I’m tired, too tired
Why couldn’t I shut my mind
Let go of all my thoughts
So I can live my life
Without pain, struggles,
Fears and anger.
I’m so full of anger and hate
All against myself
It feels like I’m a criminal
Do you know how it feels
To do everything wrong
To hurt all the people you love
To leave all the people you want to be with?
It’s hurting me like hell
I want to change myself
If I could, I’d do it
Though I’ve tried so many times
I’ve not changed at all
I’m still the criminal
The bad girl
I used to be
It’s not something I’m proud of
I’m not
I want to be good
To help the people I love
Why can’t I do that?
Everything I do hurts people
Makes them scared…
Can’t someone tell me
Why I’ve got to work so hard
To become a beloved girl
By everyone around me
When some people don’t have to change?
…
I don’t want to be in the middle
Of everything, every time,
I’m just tired of hurting people
I don’t want to feel the wish
To hide myself away
So no one could feel bad
Because I’m there…
I just want to help people