I was always quickly shamed,
awfully quiet and unsure
It took a lot of aging
till I went looking for a cure
I learnt quite good to fake it
But it’s never really there
I wish I was more confident
and less easy to scare
I hate to feel self-conscious
Like everyone turns to see
When I know I should be happy
that you want to look at me
You make me feel so silly
and sometimes so god damn small,
At times I feel like you mean to,
most times I know it’s not at all.
I try to confront myself
and step out that comfort zone
Some days it seems to all works out
Some days I feel alone
I wish that I could change myself
within one single day
But I know it’s going to take a while
before I think the other way.
So it’s not that I don’t want to,
but it takes a lot more than you see
when you ask to change myself
to make it look like it’s really me.
I know you always mean well
and I can use the helping hand
All I ask is for your patience,
and that you understand.
I'm changing,
slowly..