First Time Of Hope
17 september 2016 Stuur e-mail Alle gedichten bekijken van deze schrijver
Angst / Eenzaamheid / Hoop

You know this is the first time Iím writing something personal
Truly honest and what is my thoughtsÖinternal.
For a long time Iíve been trying to look broken so Iíll get pity
Been pushing myself unto others and romanticized my own movie

Of what I thought should happen to me, because I so righteously deserved it
But maybe that is my biggest flaw, as I saw fit,
And as I tried to reached out to them, show ehm that I cared for them
I immediately backed away right from the very start
Cause I really think everyone else is above my league

The truest of occasions come to light on booze
And now Iíve realized this is true, since I am clueless
For most of the time I have no idea of what I want and what I am doing
For most of the time, Iím not even take myself serious
And I know some of you think this about me as well
This is okay for Iím finally ready to tell

I am lonely, desperate and reaching out for someone
Of who can teach me love, who can teach me the world?
Who can reach out to my soul and wants to discover me
A tiny dot in my own existence that grabs my hand, softens my thoughts, and accepts my right and wrong
As I will do for her, I will talk often nonsense, but love you none the less, as I will look at you with pride, love, and cheerfulness
For I am finally blessed by you,
As you will be the strength of my will and of my heart and of my soul
And youíll be the will to reach my goal.

So maybe sometimes I act a little crazy, distorted, flirty
That doesnít mean I will treat you like everyone else, I will cherish you close within me
For now you are invisible but that doesnít mean, it isnít meant to be
For now you arenít here and Iím still sitting here, staring at my screen lonely,
Placing my hand unto my screen, cause I believe I can find the strength to go into the world,
And I truly believe that once we meet, it will be a connection through time.
But maybe Iím placing too much in love, maybe I am skeptical, maybe I put too much in waiting,

So these are for the first steps I will take into the world, to look for that one piece of art
As we will discover live together, hopefully hand in hand, through the good times and the tough,
But two souls combined into one giant heart, that will find out that they havenít given up yet,
And I will enjoy your company, for I will never have enough

Forever searching and hopefully yours,
Standing here with welcoming open arms, crying like a little wuss ofcourse,

For a tortured soul has never been so motivated to find its scarÖ
And I will find that piece of art,
Breaks me down, repairs me and heals my skin
To finally accept myself to be happy..from within.

- Wouter Stam -

Gecontroleerd door: christina


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