JIJ / IK / Onzekerheid
I am very introverted. I am not a people person. I do not like small talk with random people. It makes me feel uncomfortable. What I do love and need, and even crave, are deep, authentic conversations with people I connect with, people I care about.
But the older I get, the harder it seems for me to connect with others. I feel I have so little in common with the people I meet. I do not understand them and most of the time I feel misunderstood myself.
I don't care much about superficial talk. I want to hear about your family, your friends, all the people you love. I want to learn about your past. The people and moments that shaped your present. I want to know your dreams and your fears. I want you to share your life views and your morals with me. I feel I am much more emotional than most and I fear that my intensity scares people off.
But not you. You don't seem to mind at all. You listen. You really listen to me. And I feel that you actually hear me. More importantly, you care enough to open up to me as well. And knowing how private of a person you are, that means a lot to me. It has been a long time since I felt this connected with someone.
But lately you're pulling away from me and I really don't understand why. Is it because you're leaving? Because that doesn't have to mean a thing. We can easily stay in touch, if we both want to. I have been reaching out to you, but I can't seem to connect with you anymore. You're not ignoring me, but our conversations feel forced, reduced to the small talk I so hate.
But sometimes, like earlier this week, you let your guard down and we talk for hours on end. And it feels so easy and so right. But then you go silent again. And it hurts. It hurts me so much. Because even though you haven't left yet, to me it feels like you have. And I miss you already.
Please don't do this. Don't pull away from me. Because what we share is rare. I cannot be the only one feeling this.
- Augustijntje -
Gecontroleerd door: christina