All I ever wanted in life was to become a mother. One of the reasons I fell hard for your daddy was because he is great with children. You should have seen him with your nieces and nephews. You would have loved him so much. He shared my dreams of a family, but you kept us waiting for two and a half years.
When we found out we were finally pregnant with you, it was the best day of our lives. We could not wait to meet you. We bought you your first outfits, your little baby shoes, your first teddy bears. And of course your first books. We chose your two godfathers and told both of our families. You never left our minds. When we were not talking to you or listening to music with you, we were planning your arrival.
But then came the day the doctor could not find your heartbeat. My whole world fell apart. Outside the doctor's office I had a complete meltdown. I could not fight back the tears, my vision was blurred. I felt completely numb. Your daddy had to support me because my legs could not carry me anymore.
I did nothing wrong, just nature's way. No need to worry, we could just keep trying. At that point I could not care less. His words meant nothing to me. And how wrong he turned out to be. One and a half years later we learned the truth. It was nearly impossible for us to conceive naturally. You were a miracle baby.
And that, my darling, is true... you were our miracle baby. And although I never got to meet you, you will forever be in my heart.
My little Lewis.
My little Lily.