Cold wind and rain
Are taking my breath,
Freezing my tears,
I’m despaired for death,
I’m cut of my own world,
I’m cut of her heart,
Love has made me victim,
But I’m not worth,
I’m made of glass,
So thin to brake,
One wrong word of her,
And my heart starts to shake,
Blood will flow
When she says
Something wrong,
And everything will break,

My world is dead,
Happiness is over,
Love is just a word,
Asking one question,
Why is there sadness?
What have we done wrong?
To have some feeling like
That pain in the heart,

Clouds and tears,
Is all I see and feel,
Roses of death are showing me
What’s real,
A red sting of blood,
Is left in my clothes,
Blood,
From a bleeding heart,
My lips are despairing,
For a new start,
A new life,
A new opened part,
In my book of life,
That I’m writing,
And will have done,
When I’m dying,

Why isn’t there
A sunset anymore,
Clouds are hiding it,
More and more,
Dark waves
Are heading on to me,
Feel an ecstasy,
A grime of bliss in a moment,
Feel fine but sad,
Euphoria of tears,
Thinking of the past,
When there still were sunsets,


I would be recovered,
On a day,
One of what’s left,
I lived my life,
I am old now and sad,
Because I reached nothing,
In the whole 16years
I lived,

A candle is lighting
My dept mind,
I see nothing but one picture,
One perfect evening,
A sunset above a grass field,
A pop concert behind us,
Summer,
A hill with grass growing on,
A wood in the valley behind the concert,
The two of us,
Laying down in the grass,
Watching the sun and waiting for the stars,
Listening to each others heart,
An illusion that I never will create,
An imagination that is so weird,
But still is written in my mind,

Sadness is still an object,
That stands for a great part in my life,
I’m not constantly unhappy,
But I’m despaired for a dive,
Into my own created world,
The one that isn’t broken,
Were everything goes right,
And the nice words are spoken,
Where I have romantic nights,
Like the one on the pop concert,
In a ecstasy of half light,

Imagination is great,
But not good,
It takes your sense in his hand,
And changes your mood,
You’re not the same,
Anymore this day,
You’re not feeling good,
Right or okay,
Your sense of humour is gone,
You only feel sad,
Destruction is done,
When you’re completely mad,

Mists of chaos,
Are ruling my mind now,
I don’t know what it’s going to be,
Or what I going to do,
Lightning and thunder,
Controls my shapeless body,
Shocks of electricity,
Are gliding trough my bones,
I feel not laziness,
But I’m just not active,
I do what I have to do,
That’s all in this life for me,
I drink too much,
Every day again,
Don’t know how to stop,
Like it is a chain,
That holds me down,
And I would never
Be clean,
Again,
I never would,

What is wrong with me?
I know it already,
It’s the sadness,
About her,
The most beautiful girl
In the whole wide world,
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know what I could do,
Can’t reach her,
She is not like me,
She is too beautiful,
She is everything,
Want to break everything,
In my life,
To be with her,
And spend some real time,
I can’t have her like a friend,
She’s too sweet,
But I have to,
Otherwise she would be angry,
And I would loose her,
Forever,
I couldn’t bare that,
I won’t stand it,
Love her as much as the first time
I saw her in my life,
Recognized a cheerful girl,
A little girl in my eyes,
But now she’s sad,
And I know what to do,
so that she would be happy again,
And be with me,

Rain and winds are cutting me of this life,
I do not want to live like this anymore,
I’m already murdered in my soul,
And sadness is still growing more and more.

---------------------------------

What is wrong with me?
The question that returns,
This night while a write,
The pain in my body burns,

I feel anger, hate and desire,
Want to be sober and with her,
Want to be happy,
It is a good life that I prefer.