I scared myself today
I really didn’t know
That I could do something like this
but it’s possible, I’ve sunk this low

I felt it get worse
I saw it coming, for some time now
But never could have known
I would do this to myself, but somehow..

I just felt so much hate
Against everything I knew
And I had to let it go
There was only one thing left to do

Of course now I see
This is really really bad
But I couldn’t think about the consequences
Someday this is gonna be my death

For the first time I didn’t stop
When I saw my blood run down my wrist
It just wasn’t enough
Not even when it dropped of my fist

I just kept going
The pain I had just felt so good
I was just punishing myself for everything
For being me, causing pain and eating food

And when I wanted to stop
I couldn’t, I wasn’t able to
My hate was to strong
the trance I was in was too

When I finally woke up
And saw what I was doing right then
I swore I wouldn’t do this anymore
Not now, not ever again

But just ten minutes later
The bleeding didn’t even stop to run
I crapped my scissor again
I felt I had to continue what I’d begun

How can I be this stupid
My scars, they’ve multiplied
In a few weeks, and there I was
Telling myself I could stop, well..i’ve tried

Now I don’t see the point in that
Al thought what I did frightened me
It felt good, I know that’s bad
But it helps, so I let it be

And if tomorrow
I once again will go this far
Well, then I have new things to remember
And that is the sight of a fresh scar