Do you ever feel so angry
That nothing you do seems to release that feeling
That nobody can make you feel better
And sharp objects become very appealing
Do you ever try not to think
About that graving you then feel inside
Don’t wanting to give in
But not being able to find a way to hide
Knowing this graving won’t go away
Until you have given into it
One part of you screaming to run
The other part is saying to admit
Do you ever get confused
Of these two sides inside you head
Not knowing which one is good
And which one is bad
Do you ever look for ways
To stop this monologue in your mind
Or do you automatically give in
To the one being the strongest, no matter its kind
It depends on how you feel at that time
When I feel tired, sad and lost
I then feel like fighting the graving has no use
I have to do it, no matter its cost
But there are times, when I do not want to give in
I then see that it isn’t good
If I really want to I’ll go looking for ways
To get my mind of the graving, changing my mood
Unfortunately this does not happen often
The times when I feel tired come more frequent
Then I have no strength left to fight the graving
There is no way I see how to prevent
I then do not care any more
Giving in seems like the right thing to do
It even feels good
And I want to do it too
Sometimes don’t even need the graving
To do it, I just feel I the need
To feel the pain I create
And especially watching myself bleed
Still am not sure I want to lose this way
To feel good for a while
But I know I have to give it up
It’s better for me, if I ever want to smile
Although this way seems to give me control
It is really about losing it
Until the one moment you’ve gone to far
Then there is no way back, even I have to admit
That doesn’t scare me though
I know the risks, and sometimes I even want
To reach that moment when there is no turning back
But I know I can’t
Do you ever feel this way
Or is it just me, who feels like this
Well, actually it doesn’t matter
It will still be the way it is