cant reach my heart

how hard i try and how perfect i think he is i don't even have the feeling that i would want to kiss.
maybe he is to young ore maybe i'm to old for my age when im with him i feel 11 again..its going to slowly and to fast to love that men.
i don't feel love and sometimes im so scared on a date,but when i watch on the time its already so late
times fly's away when i'm with him i have so much fun i could pack my bags and just run..
far away maybe across the ocean and forget time and the reality of life but i know this cant take so long i would not survive.
you can see he loves me i see it in his eyes i try to look into it but inside me i feel a heart that cries.
I think he is not the person for me even he does his best my ice cold crying heart would never rest.
im scared when he comes to close im scared that he would want to kiss why am i scared what kind of feeling is this?
i think its better not to try to love him i know that the feeling is there but my heart its still to scare.
maybe i need to end this now before i would really brake his heart... i thought i needed some time but no one would ever be mine...
i will be a lony woman who never let someone in her heart because i think it would always fall apart.