you'll never know the truth
it's impossible for me
to tell you
what I feel

the secret is locked up
deep inside
emprisonned, never aloud to come out

this can't happen
it can't
its forbidden

this can't go on
its got to stop
please I beg you
I'm so fed up
Its got to stop, right now

this I tell myself everyday
but it doesn't stop
One day it will
It has to

But I can't tell you
I know it will destroy everything
each laugh
each walk
each touch
All the beauty and softness
crashed burned dissolved
turned into uglyness and cruelty


it eats me up inside, you know?
I'm so tired
I can't sleep anymore
I can't do a thing anymore

you don't see the pain I'm in
I don't blame you
you can't know
I don't tell a thing
never
I all keep it to myself

silence sweet silence
bullshit that is
sufficating silence

tearing apart
my mind my soul my heart

I tell myself its ok
I tell myself its just a hallucination
I'm just confused
It will pass ..

Bullshit, again
Just telling myself
what I want to hear

It won't pass
Not as long as I know you
Is this a goodbye?
a farewell?
would that help?
keeping you out of my life?

But I can't do that
I know I can't
I can't do a thing
never will be able
to say goodbye
even when
just looking at you
just listening to you
is tearing me apart
but maybe
thats the price I have to pay
to be blessed
to know someone like you

maybe this pain, these wounds
maybe they're all worth it
maybe

no not maybe
I'm sure they are
even when I know
you'll never be mine

when you're near me
the wounds don't hurt
they seem to be disappeared
your the only drug that can heel them

hopeless
because of you

I'll be ok
one day
when I know
how to say goodbye
without saying farewell
One day, the wounds will be heeled
and I won't need the drugs anymore
One day
I'll be ok