Through My Eyes

I’m not blind; I look into your eyes
You look back at me, hiding the lies.
You started out with a promise,
You started out with hope,
I gave up my life for you,
And now all you can do is smoke dope.
You dropped into depression,
Going off into your own little world
Because of the assumption,
Violence was your only way out.
I’m bruised, filthy and in pain,
I can’t go through this once again.
You lied around once too often for my liking,
I gave up hope; I gave up the will of fighting.
I see words muddled up in my head,
Which sound so familiar, a letter that must be read.
Because of you (Why did I treat them so thoughtlessly?)
I had to go (Leaving my beloved things behind)
Alone (I threw my life away).
Now I sit rapped up in bed, plotting and thinking it out,
Every night I sit in a ball and scream and shout.
The truth has opened from its shell,
No scars you can hide, no lies you can cover, no one to tell.
One day you were here, now you’re gone,
To Heaven or hell, where you belong.
I can’t return to them, to the door is as far as I came,
Faced the house, turned round and walked away from the shame.
I look in the mirror, and cry as I sit.
The blood dripping off my wrists that I slit.
I look down; notice how my belly is getting bigger.
Because of you (I’ve become what I am)
I have to stop (Can’t continue this way of living)
Not quite alone (With at least one person by my side).
I wish so much that you were here,
Now you’ve seen through my bright blue eyes,
My cheeks all wet, a lost dribbling tear,
Of loneliness, something that everyone denies.