Tired

I'm so tired to fake a smile
I'm so tired to sit here and cry
So tired off everyone around me
When will it stop? When will I be happy?
Don't know what to do or say
lay there, broken in my bed, without shedding a tear
Dark thoughts are passing me by
Will I? Will I not? Will I?
Thinking about the people around me
They don't understand a silly thing of how I feel
But why should they? They don't wake up every day with tears in their eyes.
They don't know what it is to feel alone
They don't know what it is to feel fat.
I have thought about taking a knife...
A strong knife, that cut's so deep, that I would sink in my own dark blood. Pretty thoughts, aren't they?
Sitting here alone in my room
listening to all those other people who passing me by.
I think you could say that they are happy.
Laughing, yelling, talking... It feels like there laughing about me. who cares?
Try to hide all this shit from anyone around me, oh lord, how I try to hide all this scars, all this pain...
But one day, i won't be here anymore; bleeding, screaming, crying...
One day I'll fly away
So far, you can't even find me
And on that day, my dear, my soul would finally be free...