You have to be there to come back

It was a hard way to come back
But it took me also 23 years to be there
I’ve learned to stop fighting against time
Away from society, three consecutive years one by one

The ax through my social network
Family and friends could not respect from impotence
The special bond between you and me as I liked, came by condition impossible
I was not myself and did not know where it was

I had not choosen, but I had to live
I wanted you to know again and not start on my misery
My head and heart over flowed, unprocessed experiences
It was my last straingth, not enough to give you my love or parts

I noticed that I could not see trough you
Baby I saw in your eyes your pain and doubts
I was not what you expected, no empathie
I tried to give it love, but sorry I could not express

There were moments I could see you,
And baby I’ve tried to act normal and sweet
My ability, sensitivity, sweet, soft, happy or funny side
My quiet nature it was changed into a lumbering feel free wind

I felt hopeless, unmastered by my mental disorder
Supressed by medication, there were moments I felt less or nothing
But the only thing I always felt was you, my love as much as comprehensive
My image was gone; my expressing strength, unconditional pure, fair love and soul

Everyone took away, they were afraid, impotence
So I had to say goodbye
It’s something I did not choose to, but I had to be live 24/7
I didn’t want you to see that and lose you for ever

But it gave me the strength to fight
Even when the therpists said it might be to much
I proved that I could, just fight and be cocky
They call me complex, separate , in ones own way

And maybe they are right, but…
Priggishly or not, go chase your dreams and fight
Now I have one more dream
The most beautiful dream in my world

The one I’ve have lost, to make it come true…

And that dream is so important to me;
Yes gorgeous, It is you :$






Just chase your dreams and fight