I feel betrayed,
I feel abandoned,
I feel left alone on the streets.

I am sick,
I am cold,
I am trying to get past a fog which is so thick.

A fog of indisputable fear.

fear caused by the deceased,
fear living inside during my life,
fear of being left alone again,
fear of taking another dive.

Another dive into the river of feelings.

a river made by the thoughts and emotions,
a river consisting of pain and anger,
a river that is causing the greatest commotions.


people ask how,
People wonder why,
I went insane.

But then they move on,
forever to be silent instead of being shy,
which is causing the greatest pain.

After hearing everything that has been said,
I realized one thing,
my father is dead.

He is no more,
I hate to say it,
with every word I use,
my tongue feels sore.

---- 25 februari, 2001----