Nobody deserve the life I had,
Nobody deserve the youth I had,
And nobody can understand how it feels.

My parents have been divorced since I was four,
In my memories can't I find how it feels to have them both in one house.
My father was alcoholist,
That's the reason why we left.

We've lived everywhere,
From caravan to little houses,
I lives there with my 2 older sisters and my mother.
After a year my dad picked me up at our place,
I was going to sleep there with my dad.
Five years past and my dad met a new woman.
So far as I knew was she OK.
I thought so until she moved in with us and my father was away for much days to work.
In the beginning she was really nice,
Untill she get pragnent.
When the baby was born it was OK,
When she get older she get everything she want from my dad and his girlfriend.
She was really spoiled.

At my home by my mother some things happend,
My neighbour tried to rape me.
I didn't tell my father, cause I knew he went to him and get him.
But I knew too, that my neighbour had some problems in his life,
What he did to me was ofcourse unexpected.
I went with my mother to the police,
And told them what happend.
They talked with my neighbour too,
and he learned from it.

After a year I and my neighbour are getting closer again,
And we were friends again.
'Forget the past en look to the future' we said.
When that happend I told my dad about it.
He was very mad on me,
He threw al things he can get away.
That was the last day I came there,
The next day he ignored me the whole day,
And when he took me home,
He didn't give a kiss.
Anyway,
Before I left I took all my money out of my piggybank,
Because I knew that wont stay there if I didn't come back for a long time.
With my birthday I get a card from my dad,
with 20 euro.
He wrote; Here is the rest of your piggybank.
That was that.
I didn't spoke him for 2 years.

After a few months I heard from the neighbour of my father,
That my father and stephmother were married.
He didn't tell me about that.
His own daughter.

I went every week to the social worker who told me that I had to call him,
So I did that.
My stephmother anwered the phone,
And I talked with her for a minute.
Then I spoke my stephsister from 4 years old.
She was very happy to hear my voice.
And I was so too.
But ofcourse ,
My father wasn't at home.
He was working all day.
And my stephmother didn't tell me when he was home.

After an year I was getting over it.
My appointnents with the social worker were canceled,
I can do it on my own now.
All this ends two years ago,
Ofcourse I miss my dad and my sister!
But it was OK for now,
If my dad want to talk with me,
He have to call me,
I've done enough.