Numb

I'm so numb that I can't even feel
the tears running down my cheeks
so numb that my body feels asleep
but not numb enough not to feel
how much I miss you and
how much your words hurt

not numb enough to not feel the pain
to hear the sounds that my teeth make
chattering, and my body's shivering

I have become so cold
once again you have brought me to tears
once again I was full of hope
committed

and then you say that we don't even have
something that one calls a relationship
then what is it that we have
is it more or less than the blood I spill?
more or less than the fluid I sip?
more or less than the pain you bring?

Anita