grandpa

‘the kids are allright, so it’s okay to go’
No it’s not okay to go..
Have you ever looked me in the eye the past ten years,
And ever asked me how I was?
You haven’t, cause you hardly saw me my whole life..

So how can you say that we are all okay,
If you hardly knew me..

I wanted answers, I wanted them all my life..
But I knew I would never get them from you.
I laid to rest all the resentment I had for you,
I laid to rest all the names I wanted to call you..

But you gave up,
You never fought..
You just let your candle burn out
because you ware to much of a coward to live on.

Is this something I have to look up to?
Someone who was never there for me,
Never gave anything..

You lived for yourself, you reproduced and that was enough.
But why did I had to see,
That the others did get your attention?
When my niece was the best thing ever happened to you..
But you never laid an eye on me..

Living as a young child, knowing I wasn’t good enough..
What did you ever wanted from me?
And what do you want for me, cause you don’t even know who I am..

Is this my dysfunctional feeling of a family?
I never felt love, recognition or being wanted..

So now your gone,
I’m still with all those questions..
I never wanted to cry a single tear for you.

Hurt became resentment and hate,
And this is all I have left to remember you by…