Last year


It’s sad to see how much I’ve lost the last year..
Friends I’ve lost, still not even knowing why,
And still not getting answers for it..

I build up so much,
But last year, it all broke down..

It’s sometimes hard to see what I have left..

When I look at pictures, and see how happy I was back then..
And when I look in the mirror now, and see how lonely I’ve become..

I can’t blame the drugs, mostly I can’t even blame myself,
Cause people just stood up, and walked away..
Not caring enough to leave me an explanation, not even when I ask for it..

It’s hard to know what to do next,
I don’t feel anything anymore..
I wish I felt love, love for others or love from someone else..
But I’m numb.. I simply just don’t care anymore..

It’s worthless to put effort in something that ends up dead in the end.
It’s worthless when you just walk into a wall..

It’s not the drugs, I noticed that now.
Cause even without it, even for a long time,
I don’t miss it.. I’m not hooked.. not anymore..

But what is the reason, why they keep walking away..
Without an explanation just simply turning around and pretend I never existed..
That when I ask for a reason, they simply ignore..
Leaving me with all these questions, there driving me insane..


When I look back over this past year,
I wish I could skip it, skip it all..
And sometimes I wonder why I even bother anymore..

Looking back, I wish I never met them,
So I would never have to lose them..

What happened to my life…?