It raises so much fear,
And so many tears,
When I think about you leaving..

It isn’t the first time,
This happened in my life,
But I never found a way to deal with it.

I don’t want to miss you,
I wish you could just stay here..
I know that you can’t,
And that it’s for the better.

But it makes me so afraid,
To do this alone..
It makes me panic and lose my mind,
Only by one thought about it..

I don’t think I know,
how to be strong without you..
I want you to be proud of me,
when you get back..

But I’m afraid I’ll fuck everything up
And be worse than I am today..
I don’t trust myself..



But what if I can’t make it alone?
What will happen then?
Will you let me go?
Would it be too hard for you then?

I hate it that it reminds me so much of before,
It’s like déjà-vu all over again and it never fucking changes..