Memories (part one)
push and pull



Slowly more memories start to rise,
Memories of situations that happened this past year..
Memories that passed me by..
So many memories, so much pain..
It slams me down now,
now that I don’t live in the haze anymore..

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Memories of the things you did to me,
The way you hurt me over and over again..

Moments when you knew that would hurt me,
But you didn’t care..

When these moments happened I could deal with it,
It didn’t hit me that hard..
But now when everything comes back,
It’s hard to understand,
that was the same person as you are now..

You used me, and you pretended to love, you lied and betrayed,
And you left me alone at my most vulnerable moments..

But still I was never able to let you go,
And I let it all happen, never stopped or completely walked away..
Maybe I liked the pain,
It make me feel alive between all the chaos..

I never stopped loving you,
Regardless of everything that was going on..

And I still didn’t stopped loving you,
But it’s all so vague..
Will it ever be as you showed me it could,
Or will it always be fake the way it was?

I always stood by your side,
No matter what..
I understood..

I just hope, it wasn’t for nothing..
Please don’t stand up and walk away from me…