I really ask myself everyday why do I still care about this relationship? 
Why do I still get all upset and start feeling sad and sick when I find another prove that he still seeks contact with his ex?! 
Why?! 
Why can't I just get over it? Why can't I just take it as an adult and a lady of value that I am.
I don't need him to be happy, cause happy is something I don't recognize in myself anymore. 
The only real smile I can crack is for my son. 
I can't live like this much longer.
It's killing me inside.
It kills me knowing the phrase that yes he sleeps next to me at night but he loves her pretending I'm her.
Don't know what to do.
Don't know how to deal with this anymore.
Had my apartment ready, he rented it out to other person without my approval.