~Dear ..~

Does it really matter
whether you are angry, upset,
disappointed or just tired?
Your reaction is always the same
icy, cold shoulder
it doesn’t matter who’s to blame
me or anyone else
you treat us all the same
It doesn’t matter how old i was
four or fifteen, twenty-two?
You walked away and left me bleeding
wondering what i did wrong to you

Does it matter
should i ask
if there’s something wrong?
Your answer is always the same old story
“No i’m just tired”
Only to let me know i was disappointing you
a day or two or three later
leaving me to feel anxious and hurt
guilty and no way to make up for it
i want to be better the very next time
but you won’t give me the chance
to say i’m sorry and turn things around
the minute i make a mistake and upset you

To me “i’m just tired” means the very same thing
as you being angry or hurt or disappointed
You are often tired and angry
or disappointed and tired
To me it feels like you don’t want to admit
that you feel angry, hurt or disappointed sometimes
But you know,
what makes you human
makes you beautiful
for in you being human
i find freedom to be me too