Don’t know why

don’t know why you played me
tossed me around, threw me away
as if i was a toy
don’t know why you silenced me
talked behind my back
lied to my face
said we were friends

don’t know why you touched me
when i never would have let you
don’t know why you smiled at me
as you called me a whore
or why you looked at me with those creepy eyes
making me feel uncomfortable
not being able to hide

don’t know why you screamed as you kicked me
yelled as you walked out of the door
don’t know why you gave me silence
why weren’t you there for me
when i needed you most
you left me alone at the roadside
still you said you loved me

don’t know why i should care about that girl
i once was and still am probably
don’t know why i should love me
as you all treated me as if i was
too much trouble
to ever really care about
don’t know why you left me to bleed

yet when i cut myself
you tell me to stop
you tell me to put on a bandage
make everything okay
you are ashamed of my physical scars
yet still don’t understand the depth
of the injury on my soul

i was that girl
i still am
it’s just a grown up
hiding behind her XXL stuffed animal
with her baggy clothes
and her stick-on smile
bought with a price too high