I'm not sure anymore

I go to sleep at broad daylight,
For me, there is no more day and night,
What used to matter, is already gone,
So I will stand still, there's nowhere to run,
As sadness turns to anger, and I try to turn it off,
I realize my cryings, they come from everlasting love,
A heart is so small it will fit in your hands,
Why mine broke into a million pieces, no one understands,
I've fought all my life, to keep people close to me,
But one after another I keep losing them, I can't let that be,
The reason for giving up, while still holding my sword,
Falling to my knees, for those that I adored,
An ice queen I'll be, as my world is turning cold,
And the soul I carried with me is already sold,
For this was a bigger loss, than I've ever had,
I can't even remember ever feeling this bad,
All day I sit still, wanting to be blind and deaf,
Not having to look at pictures of people I no longer have,
And my friends keep telling me, that I am not alone,
But at least they are used to a life on their own,
"You need to think of the kids, that you have to live for",
But do they really need a mom like me...
I'm not sure anymore.