I cannot begin to explain to you how hard the last couple of years have been. The impact the loss and pain have on my life. It took all I had left in me to just get out of bed and to work each morning. Every day I went through the motions. A feigned smile on my face, hiding an empty shell, drained of all emotions, drained of life itself. I wasn't seeking relief nor comfort. I just non-existed every single day. But suddenly there was you. The guy I have known for years, yet apparantly didn't know at all. We got to talking by chance and we never stopped. I do not know at what moment in time things changed. But you managed to make me laugh again, genuinely. And my god, you made me feel again. The pain is still there, I don't think it will ever go away, but you created space for more emotions. The pain isn't all-consuming anymore. And the thought that you might be gone when I return is killing me. You gave me back my life, please don't leave it.