Once again, a year goes by
For Christmastime is almost near
I'm beginning to realise I've lived a lie
In order to compromise my biggest fear
A fear which led me to believe
That enjoying is a fatal sin
Punishment therefor was received
In the form of a psychic 'evil twin'
Someone besides me like the old one's guided the young
But with every intention to rule and stay
I could not resist for he was too strong
The dawn of a shared life emerged that day
The rules were simple, for he was superior to me
And a lot of work had to be done
When I did it correctly, he let me see
That all my bad feelings were suddenly gone
And oh my god did I feel blessed
For I had gained a special friend
Someone, I thought, who'd always do it's best
And therefor all my love, I send.
I did my work, and good things I'd earn
I was the luckiest person on this earth
I didn't know I was about to learn
That this disorder was at its birth
After a while it just became
Harder to perform but I still obeyed
For the intensity of the rituals was not the same
And more sacrifices needed to be made
Slowly it took control of my body and my mind
And I began to hear this scary voice
Who told me I was one of a kind,
And in order to survive I simply had no choice
I had to go on, that was my only goal
I just couldn't resist, didn't know what to do
Only the completion of the rituals made me feel whole
I still don't know how I pulled myself through
I slowly began to lose reality
And created a separate world for my own
To escape this overwhelming insanity
Which made me feel completely alone
I began to hide in isolation
For nobody ever understood
Everyday I prayed for liberation
Just to learn that no one could
Ever help or even try to understand
I was a victim of my own selfish me
Still hoping for a helping hand
Which was foolish, I just wanted myself to be
In a place far far away
Where angels sing and good friends laugh
Where I would forever stay
For someone who'd care, I'll never have
That desire grew so deep and intense
I began to see there was no way out
I would never get a second chance
I just had to live in overwhelming doubt
I lost myself through all those years
Becoming someone I do not know
I wish I could say that I've shed some tears
But I could never let my feelings show
I received a lot of new responsibilities
But still I wanted to communicate
But that was one of my many incapabilities
I began to lose my faith
Months turned into years as they passed
All hope was turned to dust
I knew this would forever last
'cause everything was gone, everything was lost
But on one day, which started exactly the same
I met someone on Internet who told me
That I wasn't the one to blame
But a terrible disease called OCD
She typed the address, I moved my mouse and clicked
The screen came up a few seconds went by
I got scared again, what if I was being tricked
Fortunate to see that it was not a lie
I didn't understand, how could this be
I signed up, but still could not believe
Are there really more people like me?
Finding that out was a big relieve
I couldn't wait to participate
I always thought I was the only one
Luckily I didn't have to wait
For all the answers I received, I felt like I'd won
Now that I know it can be stopped
And that there are people supporting me
I'm gonna go for it and keep my head up
And try to conquer this thingyou'll see
There is just one more thing I'd like to do
I want you all to know
That because all of you
Finally, I can let my emotions show
Thank you
And thanks to Morchaine
Dra'igornh Luna (Don)