She’s sitting in her window lattice
She has a knife in her hands
Disordered hair
Tears
Black lines of make-up all over her face
Next to her red lips
Wants to slit her throat

Knows there’s no hurry
She can sit there for days
No one will miss her
No one will come

She feels terror
She dies of fright
She’s terrified
She doubts

The knife is now close to her neck
Closer
And closer
Her heart beating fast
Faster
And faster

The knife touches her neck
It feels sweat
But she’s ignorant of this
She doesn’t know this feeling
Does she feel release
Does she still feel pain

She’s doubting

She finds herself still waiting
She wants something to happen
Someone may enter the room

So the feeling was hope …
But it’s gone when she realizes it
Turned into despair

She slits a tin red line
Can’t go back now, she thinks
But still she can
And she knows it
And she does it

She knows now she can’t do it
She feels so weak
Her hands go towards her face
And meanwhile she drops the knife

She’s shivering
She cries no more in silence
She’s sad she’s still alive

She gathers her last hope to make a call
She picks up her phone
Dials the number
Shrinks back down
Sitting in a corner of the room
With the phone in her hand
Next to her head

Waits
But nothing happens
No one answers

She throws the phone away
While crying in her hands
She doubts again
Doubts still

Can she do it now

She takes the knife again
Climbs on the handrail of the balcony
With the knife against her neck
This time it doesn’t feel so strange
All of that hope is gone

She strikes it over her neck
The tin line grows thick

She falls of the balcony
Falls and feels so free
She opens her arms
Waits for death to pick her out of the sky
Last time she will ever smile