It feels like my heart is crying.
At the same time there's an empty hole.
Where my heart should be.
Something is missing.
My whole life.
I can't seem to fill that hole.
Not with a nice, comfy home.
Food in my fridge.
Money on my bankaccount.
Or with the people in my life.
Being sick at home now for so long I wonder if I will ever be able to make myself useful again.
My body's aching more and more.
My sadness, my hopelessness fills me each day.
More and more.
Asking for help for 2 years now.
Again being redirected.
Again waiting for an answer.
Someone that will hear my call.
My aching heart.
Someone who will guide me to that missing part.
Essential part to feel alive.
Hoping that day won't ever have to come.
The day I'll say my permanent goodbye.